Peeling Back Layers of Ugly: The Gay Reality

Agent 867 approves this.

IndeedIAm

This was it.

The expectant tension was building in our awkward phone conversation to an almost unbearable degree.  I felt myself struggling to regulate my breath and appear nonchalant.  He struggled for words, a way to open the door, for the very first time to anyone.

His fear became so present, it felt like we may shatter when he finally found the words.

My brother is gay.

When he finally told me, a few months from graduating high school in the spring of 2004, every single bad, derogatory, judgemental comment I had ever heard about gay people played out in my memory. We did not grow up in a home where bigotry and hateful speech was ever uttered.  But we grew up mormon.  A place where they talked about the sin of homosexuality.  A place where t.v. shows like Ellen, or Will and Grace were considered immoral and inappropriate.  Where…

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Miss Adventures in Dating ~ ehr mer gerd, they found me on Faceberk!

My Facebook profile is locked up tight. If you find and stalk me all you will find out is that I am female and widowed. I woke up to this gem in my inbox this morning. The time stamp is 2:55 AM. Let me tell you something about messages that are sent between the hours of 11 PM and 5 AM, the chances are high that the person sending the email is either drunk, high, or not in your country of origin. (Or they work the night shift and are bored and Facebooking from their smart phone… but what are the chances of that?)

And Dear Nelson, if you have two pet dogs I sure hope to god they live with you!! Unless of course, your ex-wife got them in the divorce, and if she is that nasty and spiteful, well that’s more drama than I want to deal with anyway! Not to mention the fact that Austin, TEXAS is a hella long ways from Cali (YES, I’m from So Cal, and yes I say “hella”). I have lots of friends all over the country and the world. I even have friends in Texas. But random emails was not how our friendships started. Maybe you need to stop getting drunk and emailing random people on websites asking to be friends. Or maybe, just maybe, you need to find another form of employment in Nigeria that does not involve wasting my time 🙂

xoxo

Agent 867 ❤

 

“Hi,I am Nelson from Austin Texas.I came across your profile,You caught my attention.I want to be your friend.Distance do not matter in friendship/relationship.I have two pet dogs who live with me but Life is lonely to live alone or without having someone to talk with.i will write more and tell you about my self and send you more of my pictures when you write back to me.God bless you. Regards Nelson”

Winner, winner, chicken diner! Miss-Adventures in Dating is back

Well it’s been a while, but I haven’t had much inspiration or fodder to share of late… I was actually so disappointed that I haven’t checked my account in forever. I found this gem waiting in my inbox on 4/9, it was sent on 4/3 and somehow between then and now he must have met his soul mate and deleted his profile. I’m heartbroken, I really thought he was “the one”…

“hello dear

I am a us army by profession and my full name is Daniel Paul am 49 years old and im from usa, i am a widower, i am looking for woman to spend the rest of my life with…

best regards
Daniel ”

Yes, I can tell he is really from the USA and not some country like NIGERIA because he felt the need to tell me he was from the “usa” and not some specific state, county or city (said the San Diego native now living in the “Greater Los Angeles Area”… now that I think about it, that is about as non-specific as being from the “usa”)

The point is, if you are going to tell a widow that you are a widower and your age is close to mine, give me more to work with. I’ve been widowed almost 10 years, and while I LIKE the idea of being in a long term, committed relationship, I am not so sad and pathetically lonely that I am going to throw a bunch of money at the first random email on dating site that reads, “i am looking for woman to spend the rest of my life with…”

Fine Tarzan, meet me at 8. I’ll be the one wearing the “Support the Troops” bumper sticker across my right thigh.